Why Prenups are a Good Idea
by BillaRayne
Summary: Draco loses his fortune, his heart, his birthrights and possibly his sanity. Slowly going bonkers in his need for revenge, he enlists the help of an estranged friend to get it all back.
1. 2004

**Why Pre-nups are a Good Idea. Except when Exacting Revenge.**

*I Own Nothing. It's all yours J.K

I growled incoherently as I paced back and forth in front of my less than lavish fireplace.

Late again!

That blasted woman has been gone all day and made _**me**_ wait for _**her**_ for two bloody hours _**after**_ our arranged meeting time.

Something clicked in my brain, as if I had just overlooked a vital piece of information. I stopped pacing abruptly as I thought about what I just said, or rather, thought.

"Wait a minute, two hours?"

My mind scanned through the previous evening.

Lovely dinner? Check. Quick plan recap? Check. Coffee, accompanied by her stunning home made triple choc muffins? Check. Light, witty, and ever-so charming banter on my part? Check.

I straightened my back and held my head high.

Nope, there was absolutely no logical reason for this punishment, whatsoever. Unless...

I felt my stomach drop.

What if something's gone wrong? What if...?

I turned to glare at the fireplace. It was the most horrible colour of old I have ever seen, just like wrinkles. Unfortunately my whole ruddy flat was the exact shade of old and ugly, with traces of expiration and depression everywhere.

The stupid half collapsed peasant's portal was probably holding her hostage.

Suddenly an image of my belated guest, somewhere on the other side of the fire, unable to get through, plagued my mind, and I felt that white hot heat of temper slowly slipping from my grasp. Didn't the insufferable thing know I was on a schedule? How dare it interrupt what would of been a triumph, a celebration even!

I once again eyed my saboteur.

"You two knut piece of junk", I grumbled as I stalked toward the fireplace. "I demand you give me back my woman at once or I'll...!"

My little tirade was cut off as I was startled back by a flare of green, followed by said (previously thought to be kidnapped) woman stepping through into my living room.

Mouth half open, I stood in shock as I hoped to Merlin she hadn't just heard my 'I don't negotiate with terrorists' episode.

I'd never hear the end of it. She already thought I was going bonkers. I quickly thought back through the last 20 seconds and released a sigh of relief as I remembered it was all in my head. I hadn't actually said any of that insanity out loud.

Had I?

My heart quickened its pace as I steadily met her gaze. She was standing not four feet in front of me, and I could see in her honey amber eyes that she was thinking hard, trying to assess exactly what she had just walked into.

She took a long hard look at me, then at the fireplace, before slowly turning her confused and very amused gaze back in my direction.

Crap.

The way she stared at me made extremely uncomfortable, like when you step into the shower to find the hot water's been used up. I subconsciously started shifting my weight from one foot to the other, and back again, until I realised how much that didn't help the situation. Malfoys don't fidget.

Annoyed that the bothersome witch had caused said fidgeting, I lashed out.

"Well what the devil are you looking at woman? Why are you so bloody late?"

She made to speak, her soft plump lips parting slightly as she drew in a small breath, but paused.

I sincerely hoped it was to rethink mentioning my previous state of temporary insanity involving that loathsome hearth.

No such chance.

"Draco," she hesitated "Dear,"... "Did I just hear?" She held her breath for a moment before she continued in a shaky voice; "Were u just reprimanding the um . . Fireplace?"

My eyes, a brilliant shade of liquid silver, mixed with a dash of ice blue, a most attractive combination, if I did say so myself, widened instinctively.

It was a clear act of guilt any idiot could read. Still I did my best to look shocked and offended.

Yet there she was, unrelenting in her accusation, barely holding in whatever outburst of obnoxious giggles I knew was coming. Seriously who giggles nowadays?

I changed my stance to a defiant one. Puffed out my chest a little, and glared.

"Don't be so absurd, I was merely-"

"Oh no no no," she interrupted. " I clearly heard; 'You two knut piece of junk'," (she sniggered) "'I demand you give me back my woman, or I'll'. . . ' I'll"

Two seconds later she had given up on her little 'I'm interrogating like a professional' act as I was horrified to hear a full-blown snort come out of her button nose before she practically collapsed with glee, unable to further contain her amused hysterics.

Insulted that she was unashamedly laughing like a hyena, and at me no less, I made to defend myself. I had to at least try right?

"Well everyone knows that things that don't cost obscene amounts of money are bound to malfunction in the crudest ways!"

My attempt at redemption made me cringe.

I knew as soon as that excuse had left my mouth; I had only added fuel to the already terribly uncontrolled fire.

I sighed and slightly dropped my head in shame, as I knew a lost cause when I saw it.

I slumped over to the closest stain-smelling armchair and reluctantly lowered myself into it. I prayed for her to hurry up and be over with the rant she would surely dish out.

I didn't have to wait long.

"First if all", the petite female managed through giggles, "Who in their right mind comes to the conclusion that an inanimate object has taken someone hostage?"

"Yeah well when you put it _that_ way anythin-"

"Second of all", she interrupted me, yet again, "Why not think; 'oh she could be late' or-'oh maybe the floo is down for maintenance' or...or anything else other than a corrupt, ransom seeking fireplace!"

That set her off again. If she was laughing before now she was downright cackling.

I suddenly felt incredibly foolish, well, even more so than before. Why did I come to that bizarre conclusion?

Starting to feel very irritated now, I must've spent a full 10 minutes glaring daggers at her before she finally continued.

"Lastly," she spat out, "What in your right mind makes you think I'm yours?"

By this time she had managed to somewhat compose herself and was now staring at me, awaiting my explanation, when I saw a familiar flash in her eyes.

She was baiting me. Daring me to say something chauvinistic and pigheaded, but that wasn't all.

She was genuinely curious. Curiosity is _**always**_ a weakness, particularly for women. Especially, for this woman.

This was the perfect time to switch to the offense. I almost chuckled at how easy this would be. Instead, I did what I do best.

I smirked.

Immediately she stilled. She's always hated the haughty facial gesture. Only because she was jealous of how I perfected it so.

"Ah see I thought that would be quite obvious. It is **my** plan. Applying the use of **my** resources. You are **my** accomplice, well employee more like it-"

"You don't have resources and you're not even paying me you bro-"

" AND", I continued over the top of her, " You just happen to be female. Therefore you are **my** woman through default. Honestly girl if you weren't so busy being a bint you could've figured that out for sure."

Her cheeks were slowly heating up with the exact colour I had been aiming for. . .anger.

"That doesn't make sense u conceited git! Plus I believe you said acting like a 'bint' was required", she retorted.

It was fair to say she was much less confident and much more livid then her previous state of joy, but I didn't stop there.

"_Acting_ like a bint?", I taunted smugly, "Yes. Becoming one? I should think not. Hardly a productive move wouldn't you say? I mean we are trying to _accomplish _something here, aren't we?"

I smiled at her obvious fuming. Her eyes met mine head on. I saw her wand hand twitching dangerously. She was probably readying herself to hex my bullocks off in the event her death-glare didn't succeed in killing me.

Still, it certainly was a welcome change from that demented hyena she was earlier.

I stood up and walked slowly over to her. I gently and cautiously put my hands on her shoulders in an attempt to calm her. Since she thrived on anger and hostility in moments likes these. I hoped this simple, composed gesture would dampen her temper.

She stayed rigid in my grasp for a minute or to, before finally she relented.

Every inch of me screamed cocky at this point, and why shouldn't I be? The headache of a woman was back, which means the deed was done, and it was only a matter of time before I would be living the high life that had been snatched away from me all that time ago.

I almost felt guilty for pushing her buttons, but she should've known better. It was time to put her in her place.

I waited until she lost her internal battle to look anywhere else but my eyes, and when grey met tawny, I drawled out slowly and deliberately:

"No-one laughs at a Malfoy, You of all people should know that by now, Mrs Parkinson."

She immediately threw her gaze to the floor.

Since I had put the matter to rest and come out on top, I headed for the kitchen without giving her a second glance.

Then I heard a sound and stopped me dead in my tracks.

She laughed.

Not the 'that's so funny I can't contain it laugh', no. Something much, much worse. Evil, would be an understatement.

I turn to face her.

If she had somehow gotten the upper hand, I was not going to have my back facing that demon woman.

"Oh, whoops" she spoke with a fake tone of sincerity, bringing one hand up to lightly cover her lips. "I know you only _**just**_ told me, but I guess a bint like me already forgot not to laugh at a _**Malfoy".**_

The mocking way she said Malfoy let me know just how angry she was.

It was a low blow.

My eyes followed her as she arrogantly sauntered towards my front door, opened it, and made ready to walk out, but not before she turned to pleasure me with an unnaturally cruel smile. I should be proud really, but I was terrified.

Something must be terribly wrong, if she knew something I didn't. Something very important.

"Then again", she drawled, "You're not exactly a Malfoy any more. Are you?"

A feminine tinkered giggle slightly filled the room as she left, gently closing the door behind her.

I winced as I eyed the door suspiciously. Surely that wasn't all.

Sometimes I think I'm psychic.

Not even ten seconds later, I heard the front door open a fraction and saw the little witch I now knew as Ginevra M. Parkinson, _n__ée_ Weasley, poke her head through, obviously ready to deal the real damage.

I braced myself.

"By the way Draco _**darling**__,_ Pansy, you remember her don't you? Yes your ex-wife, that's the one, well she insisted Hadrian and I not get married today. In fact, she talked her father into us having a big wedding. So Hadrian and I will be wedded in the winter. That's what? Two and a half months away? You'll get to spend another 10 weeks in this lovely flat that you adore so much! Isn't that wonderful? Anyway, got to run Draco _**dear**_ I have a wedding to plan, Toodles".

I heard a loud crack and knew she had really gone this time.

I stumbled back onto the wall, as the weight of her words sunk in.

She wasn't yet Ginny Parkingson. She was still plain old red head Weasley.

I took a hateful look about the dreadful, decaying apartment I would have to spend a further 10 excruciating weeks.

Cursing loudly I stormed into the kitchen and grabbed the strongest, most expensive bottle of Firewhiskey money could buy from the cabinet. It was the only thing I had managed to salvage from my luxury days. Well that and my obvious good looks.

I should've been angry. Hell I should've had her head on a stake in the middle of my lounge room. It definitely would have been the only thing here that wasn't a damn eyesore.

I couldn't help but be impressed, however, at her impeccable timing and deliverance of the news that would cause me this intolerable misery.

"Touché, Weasley. Touché indeed."

**A/N: So I have this whole idea for this story planned out in my head. I just need the practise and inspiration to get in on paper, as I'm a very new writer. Also need a beta, any takers?**


	2. 2001

**The beginning of the end.**

I own nothing, it's all yours J.K

**Wednesday, March 7th, 2001.**

_Ginevra,_

_As you've probably already noticed I've sent over some galleons. Go to the store and stock up, it seems I'll be over Friday after all. Before you ask, of course Father is annoyed that I once again shirked my responsibilities. I also know he thinks if he drills all there is about running a company into me now, then I'll magically wake up one day and have some kind of overbearing desire to take charge. But let's face it, I'll be 21 this year, which means I'll be getting one third of my inheritance, and in turn will want all the free time in the world to play with it. No time for being the head of a company I'm afraid. Plus, I really do know all there is to know, and could take over tomorrow if I so wished._

_Anyway, we'll have plenty of time to talk about that. I'm in need of a good dose of your special Weasley brand of fiery wit._

_Serpent of your dreams,_

_Draco._

* * *

><p><em>Draco,<em>

_I'm so glad you can come. Normally I would give you a lecture about how you can't run from your responsibilities forever, but then you'd just say in your pompously cocky and arrogant way "I am a Malfoy, and as such am entitled to do whatever I please". Actually I'm quite glad we can have this downtime together, the only downside to keeping this friendship a secret is not being able to just vent to you whenever I run into you in public. And I am in dire need of a good vent._  
><em>Oh and I've already been to the shops, I kind of forgot the eggs. There's no way I'm going back there though, that creepy teenage adolescent still works there and still manages to freak me out every time I go. So you will just have to make do with just bacon and no eggs, because under no circumstances am I going back there until my next big shopping day in two weeks.<em>

_Much love,_

_Ginny._

* * *

><p><em>Weasel,<em>

_Don't make me laugh. I am not pompous._

_Draco._

_P.S, There will be eggs._

* * *

><p><strong>Saturday, March 10th, 2001.<strong>

_Weasel,_

_So I wake up this morning, thinking about what a lovely night we had together, only to find you M.I.A. I can't believe you left. After everything we've been through, you just decide to up and leave without even discussing it with me. Guess I don't mean that much to you after all._

_Your supposed best friend,_

_Draco._

* * *

><p><em>Lunatic,<em>

_I'm only across the road buying eggs so I can make your sorry arse breakfast, yet again. I can see you from where I'm standing for heaven's sake! Get away from the window before someone spots you in my apartment. I'll be home in about 2 minutes._

_Not your maid,_

_Ginny._

* * *

><p><em>Ginevra,<em>

_Honestly woman stop smothering me! I know I'm irresistibly charming, and as you're a woman you're just naturally drawn to me, but you only went across the road, there's no need to owl. Plus I'll be here for the next few days, so you need not worry, you will get your chance to bask in my glow yet. Also, stop watching me. Stalker._

_All that you strive to be,_

_Draco._

* * *

><p><strong>Thursday, April 5th, 2001.<strong>

_Dearest Draco,_

_I can't believe it's been nearly a month since you even owled. Pretty sure I've sent you three. In fact the last time you owled me was when you stayed those few days last month, and I was 3 minutes away from you. What a magically refreshing time that was. So this is how it is now huh? Oh wait a minute, you're seeing someone aren't you? Or you at least have your eye on someone. Tell me the details. You know I'll find out what I want eventually, whether you like it or not. Anyway the purpose of this owl was to ask if you had any plans for your birthday yet? I know it's nearly two months away, but surely your mother has something planned, and surely you have a way of sneaking me in, unrecognised. It is a special birthday after all. I simply can't miss it. I know you'll reply eventually, you can't go this long without your, what did you call it? Your dose of "Weasley wit and fire?".I pretty much just wanted to annoy you for taking so long._

_Much love,_

_Ginny._

* * *

><p><strong>Friday, May 25<strong>**th****, 2001.**

_Dearest Ginevra_

_You know me too well. I sincerely apologise for not owling, I've had other matters on my mind, and a lot to think about since my last visit. I have found someone, but I want to tell you about it in person, to explain it face to face, it seems only right. I'll be over Monday, so have that lovely shortcake ready. What I will say is that she's feisty and witty. She is a pureblood, and although her family's name is a disgrace, it will still have some sway on getting a blessing from my parents. She has this sense of humour that only we understand. She's definitely a looker, and has this uncanny ability to read straight through me and I can't stop thinking abo-..._

At that Ginny Weasley dropped the letter and recoiled in horror. Draco Malfoy had just in no uncertain terms, confessed his love for her. This was an absolute disaster.

* * *

><p><strong>Monday, 28th May, 2001.<strong>

Ginny looked at the clock again. Malfoy was late. In a way she was glad, but on the other hand she wanted to get this over as quickly as possible. She had spent the whole morning rehearsing what she was going to say to Draco, but could never get it quite right, and since he was late she figured she might as try one more time. Leaving the kitchen she passed her wooden desk, glared at the draw that hid the letter of doom, and continued making her way to the mirror on the opposite wall.

Staring into her reflection, she took a deep breath and released it slowly before beginning.

"Draco, you have been my closest friend for the longest time, and I treasure that dearly. While I'm greatly flattered and even more surprised by your feelings for me, our friendship is just something I can't risk, and to be honest, I've never even thought about thinking about you in that way - I mean it isn't as though you aren't a catch – not that I ever considered your potential as a boyfriend – of course you're attractive enough that isn't the case at all - it's just your my best friend and things would get weird - not to mention our families hate each other and Ron would most certainly make an attempt at your life and . . . and I'm a complete idiot and have no idea what the hell I'm going to say."

At this she gave herself a big fake cheesy grin before returning to her morning scowl.

A tapping at her window brought her out of her wallowing as Malfoy's elegant owl swooped under the half-closed pane, dropped a silver envelope on her couch and left without so much as a hoot.

Picking up the beautiful silver package she turned it over to see her name in elegant scripture, it was obvious to her Draco had written her name on the front himself. With absolute confusion she flipped it back over and unfolded the paper. Ginny felt her stomach drop lower and lower. It was most certainly an invitation, but typically these kinds of fancy envelope/invitations were reserved for weddings.

"Impossible." Ginny whispered to herself.

Lifting up the final flap, her profound curiosity came to an end. Reading aloud to herself, she felt her eyes start to prickle irritatingly.

"Draco Lucius and Pansy Iona cordially invite you to to join them as they unite in marriage. Tuesday, June the fifth, two thousand and one, at six o'clock in the evening. Malfoy Manor."

The stunned redhead brought a finger to her eye and withdrew it again, watching as the droplet ran down her finger.

"Impossible." She repeated.

Whether she was talking about the invitation or her reaction to it, she never had time to consider, as Draco Malfoy, came flaring from the fireplace. Taking in her glassy eyed silence and spotting the letter in her hand, he nervously ran a hand through his dishevelled and somewhat sooty hair.

"Shit" he muttered.

Ginny felt a lot of things then. Humiliation, betrayal, confusion, rejection, jealousy. _'Wait, jealousy?'_ She thought to herself. _'I spent all morning preparing to turn him down, I am __not__ jealous. I'm . .I'm mad that's what I am!'_

"I'm so sorry Gin" Draco mumbled sincerely.

"About what exactly Malfoy? The fact that you're all of a sudden in _love_ and getting married to a gold-digging, manipulative whore or about the fact that I had to find out from a snobby owl who didn't even stop to let me pet or treat him let alone look in my direction!"

"I know your angry Gin but there's no need for badmouthing my fiance. I understand your concern, I've read the papers, but trust me, she's changed." Draco managed to get out calmly.

"Oh has she now? Well do tell Draco dear how has poverty treated your little wife to be? You know, since your father completely destroyed not only the company Pansy had been all ready to take over but also the once prestigious name of Parkinson? Hmm?"

"As a matter of fact, Pans is no longer in contact with her parents and refuses to call herself a Parkinson, as she's ashamed at her father's greed. _That _was what ultimately brought down the company and she, along with the rest of the business world, knows it. If you must know the whole experience of falling from grace has greatly humbled her. She's done charity work with _muggles_ for Merlin's sake!" Draco shouted, struggling to reel in his temper. However the memory his best friend's stunned teary expression, while holding the dreaded invitation made him feel more than a twinge of guilt, and he made sure to soften his tone before continuing.

"As for telling you all this, that was what today's visit was for. Unfortunately mother must've sent the invites earlier than I had anticipated, and I'm really am so very sorry you had to find out the way you did." The Malfoy heir outstretched his arms and took a step toward Ginny, in an attempt to give her one of his apology hugs. They were quite rare indeed and under normal circumstances she would feel compelled to forgive him after receiving one, but Ginevra was still fuming inside. She stepped away instantly.

"Did you handwrite the names of all your guests on their invitations, or just mine?"

"I uh. . I" Draco stuttered. He thought he was in trouble before . .

"Let me guess," Ginny spat. "You haven't told her you're good friends with that lowly Weasley girl,"

"Well no, I thought we both agreed on keeping this thing a secret for as long as possible-"

"And what the hell would she think when I rock up to your wedding and we are all buddy- buddy? Or were you just going to treat me like you do when we bump into each other at other public events? All stony and indifferent?" Ginny watched as Draco's expression got guiltier and she felt an unexplainable ache in her chest. "Oh my god," she whispered as the truth of her words sunk in. "You weren't ever going to tell her, were you?"

"Don't be ridiculous Weasley of course I was!"

"When, hmm?" Was all Ginny managed to get out. Her tongue was playing with the inside of her cheek, a habit often present when that mad and hurt, sobbing was inevitable. Playing with her tongue was her discreet way of delaying said inevitable sobbing.

"Well I was aiming for telling her before the wedding, but during our honeymoon at the very latest. You know, when she's all Draco'd up" Wriggling his eyebrows, the attempt at using humour to cover his guilt failed miserably.

The youngest Weasley couldn't take any more. "Don't even bother." She swallowed back a sob.

"Excuse me?" Draco blurted

"Don't bother telling her why we are all buddy-buddy at your wedding, because I won't be there. I don't care what you say, but I'm right about her, she is using you and I'm not going to stand around and pretend not to care that you're marrying into a trap. You're getting married _on_ your birthday? Come on Draco, I know your not that daft. That's two thirds of your inheritance in one hit right there, and guess who's entitled to it all should you stray? But like I said you knew that. That's the real reason you won't tell her about our friendship," The fuming redhead started pacing angrily in front of the handsome Slytherin. "You won't tell her after your wedding because you fear she may be overwhelmed by our closeness, and claim you're having an affair. And you won't tell her before in case she calls the whole thing off, once again threatened by our relationship."

"Weasley you're really starting to piss me off" Draco growled.

"Piss off then!" she spat back.

Draco headed for the fireplace, dangerously close to lashing out. He grabbed a handful of floo powder but before he threw it he pointed to Ginny and warned her.

"Weasley if you ever cared anything for our friendship, you will be at my wedding"

"After all I've been through today you're questioning me about our friendship! Piss off to your trophy wife you bloody prick."  
>"I mean it Weasley. If you're not there, because of some ridiculous high school grudge, then I'll take what we have as being over and you will not hear from me again."<br>Ginny stormed up to him and glared straight into his stormy eyes, despite tears freely spilling out of her own.

"Get. The fuck. Out."


End file.
